Parenting is hard...

Product: Crate Paper

Being a parent is hard. Like really hard! I spend so much time worrying if I'm screwing up, screwing her up, screwing up the future. It gets a little  a lot exhausting. 

I feel some days like I am obsessing and that I sound like a broken record.

Remember your listening ears.

Choose kindness. 

Be the kind of friend you want your friends to be.

Be respectful.

I love you.

Put away your snobby face.

Don't act like a jerk. (I used that the other day when Anna was a total jerk, not my best parenting move but there was nothing else to describe her behavior)

Remember your listening ears.

Choose kindness.

Are your listening ears on?

Take a deep breath.

I love you.

Remember kindness.

And the list repeats itself over and over and over.

I try to remind myself that she's a great kit, she's amazing actually and that she is not perfect- nor would I ever want her to even think she is. I try to remind myself that the mere fact that I am even thinking about these kinds of things is proof enough that we're on the right path. 

Parenting is hard, I can only imagine how much harder it's going to get. I just want her to be happy, I want to be happy. Is it too  much to ask that raising a joyful,  kind, productive, compassionate member of society be a little bit easier? 

I didn't think so.....

What's the point of scrapbooking?

Product: papers, rosettes & flowers: Pebbles' Spring Fling, alphas: Bella Blvd, doily: Studio Calico, glassine bag: Creative Packaging

I was teaching a card class this past weekend and a lady I had not taught or met before asked me the following questions, one after the other, bang, bang, bang - "What is scrapbooking? Why do you do it? What's the point? What do you do with them?"

I just stared at her. What do you mean? Why wouldn't I scrapbook! It's my thing. The point? I actually felt a little stumped. 

I answered a generic answer- "For the purpose of memory keeping and as a creative outlet."  I then continued on with instructing my card class. 

However, I didn't just let it go. Why do I scrapbook? What am I going to do with them all? She obviously, unknowingly- hit a nerve. I felt like I needed to defend myself. My feelings were a little bizarre actually. 

I came home from that class and felt compelled to create, to scrapbook and to tell a few stories. I scrapbooked for 2 days straight, only stopping to eat. The whole time answering the burning question- "Why do I scrapbook?" 

Product: paper & stickers: Doodlebug Designs, cardstock: American Crafts

I scrapbook because it makes my happy. It lights me up and is there really any other reason that matters?

I scrapbook to preserve our memories, to  tell a story, to freeze moments in time. To jump back into the past and touch those memories. I scrapbook because beautiful pattern paper sends endorphins to my brain that make me giddy! If you don't love pattern paper then you won't understand but maybe your thing is new bake ware or paint or fabric. Everyone has a thing. I scrapbook because that happens to be my creative outlet, my space to express myself and recount a story.

As for the other question- "What am I going to do with them all?"

I honestly don't know. Will Anna want them all? I don't know.

What I do know is that I don't think about it much, it's not important. What is important is that for right now, in these moments- creating makes me happy, it brings me joy.  I do hope that as the years go by and aging takes over that we will have these pages, these albums full of memories, albums full of my touch and full of my words to go through. I can't see the future but I know that they will matter, all of it will matter and I will be so grateful that I have a love of memory keeping.

Hello there, good to see you again.

It has been a long two months since I last posted. For the most part I was sick. I had a cold that wouldn't go away mid February and then on February 29 Anna came home from school with the flu. By 7pm that same day I knew I had it too. Not how I planned to spend our extra day! I also wasn't expecting to have that flu and a million other illnesses for over a month. Poor Anna missed so much school, Cory had to miss work to care for us and I pretty much didn't work for the whole month of March. Thankfully I can say now that I am symptom free and only have a few metal reminders of how crappy it all was. Poor Anna still has viral hives (whatever that means) but fortunately feels like champ. Somehow Cory escaped all of it, not even a sniffle. 

What have we been up to? 

- Laying on the couch for days gave me a lot of time to think but that thinking was anything but positive and led me to a very dark place. I realized I was so full of anger, anger that for the most part was being bottled up. I have began dealing with that (and so much more) by journaling, talking it out loud, getting active, doing morning yoga and intention setting. It's helping and allowing me to see things, people and my situations more clearly. Work in progress. 

- Anna was awarded a highflyer award for kindness from her principal. I was a very proud momma.

- Cory entered a Jui Jitsu tournament and received gold in both his fights. Very proud wife. 

- Anna has an energy and light about her that oozes magic. I am so grateful to be her Momma.

- We took a impromptu trip to Canmore and breathed in the mountain air.

- We celebrated Easter back home. These kids are the best! 

- Cory celebrated his birthday! 

- I went on a much needed retreat with some friends. I scrapbooked, ate way too much food, got to sleep though the night and watch these amazing sunsets.

- my hard drive died (basically blew up) and I lost everything from the past 3 years. Both Disney trips, every holiday, photos of my dad, playschool & kindergarten and all the magic moments in between. I cried for days. I found lots of memories saved on Instagram, Facebook and here on the blog and just like that I was grateful for technology again.

- I am making a very conscious decision to "take care of me", do what's right for me, put me first. It's hard and I feel guilty. However when I do put me first and bid the guilt farewell I feel so much better. So much more alive and happy and everyone around me benefits from that. Paying attention to the energy that I bring to the table has been high on my intention setting list. 

- New hair. I had not had my hair professionally colored since my wedding in 2008. That seems a little far reaching but seriously, I can't recall having it done other than that. 

- We have been spending as much time as we can outside enjoying the sunshine.

- Anna asked to try riding her bike without the training wheels. It was frustrating, exciting, sad, scary.... and that was just me (ha ha ha). She did great but I have a feeling she will be taking this whole bike riding thing slowly.

20 seconds from February

I discovered the 1 Second Everyday app through Elise Blaha Cripe's blog Enjoy It and have since become a huge fan and am using it to capture moments from our year. I was spotty at best in January and wrote out a goal for myself in February to capture a video everyday. I have missed 3 days but was able to insert a picture into the video to replace the missed videos. 

Why do I love this? The movement, the sounds, the expressions.... all of it. I will get to look back and hear Anna, see smiles as they began, be transported back to those moments as if I am there again. Photos do this for me too, but video... there is something wonderful about video and the captured sounds and movement. 

You probably think, like I did, that 1 second isn't long enough to capture anything but it is... it really is! 

This is our video from February 1 to February 20. 

20 Seconds from February from Nadine Wachter on Vimeo.

Goodbye January

Hello February. Hello leap year. Hello extra day to get it right, to start again.

Here's to the "best of" this past month.

 

xo

♥

Spring Break 2015

We are back to our routine today, work & school. Spring break was full and went by too fast. We celebrated Easter weekend back home at my parents, was nice and it was hard. You can feel Dad's absence in the air. I can not begin to imagine the pain my mom feels but I am so very proud of her, she is so strong. 

This past week we celebrated, played, remembered, laughed, cried, ate too much, stayed up late & slept in. I hope everyone had a wonderful break, here's a peak into ours...

Play dates.

Build-A-Bear

First haircut.

Celebrating this guy's birthday.

Easter basket goodies.

Giggles.

Cuddles. 

Hunting for "puffy" willows.

Crafting.

Finding eggs.

Why not me?

found via Pinterest

I have been thinking a lot lately about where I am at and more specifically where I am going. What I want to do, accomplish, be. There are days were I just stop and think- " I have so much more potential than this." My girl Candace says that I am here, asking these questions because my foundation has been rocked with the loss of my Dad. She's right, everything looks, feels and sounds different. The things that matter have changed, or become more 'in my face'. Bottom line, I want more. I need more. Not more crap. More life. More for my soul. More passion. More belief in myself. More me asking "Why the _ _ _ _ not me?" Just more.

Around Here

I have been taking every opportunity I can to get out of my head and breathe. With the mild March weather that looked like running or sitting on the step in the sun. My plate is overflowing right now and these little breaks help me to organize my thoughts and priorities. 

This past Saturday I taught my first card class since November 5, the night before my Dad past away. It feels like yesterday that I stayed late to talk to a friend about how great my Dad was doing only to wake up to him being gone forever. I had many friendly faces come to welcome me back and support me and I am so very grateful for them and their love.

We took Anna to see her first movie, Cinderella, on opening weekend. Anna said she loved it but it wasn't until the Fairy Godmother showed up with the magic did the movie interest her. Anna is 4 and I think this version of the story is a little too old. I however thought it was so well done, I absolutely loved it. The message of having courage and being kind was loud in the movie and I LOVED that. 

After the movie we headed to the mall to get Wetzel Pretzels (my favourite) and happened to run into the Easter Bunny. Anna was all over getting her photo taken. I secretly took a bunch when she was waiting to see him. If you're paying for their photo who cares if I take some too.... that's what I think.

I started up again with yoga at Prana Yoga Studio and am in a very happy place when I go. The movement. The breathing. The time alone. The focus. The quiet. Bliss.

Anna finished up dance for the winter and will start again mid April. I signed her up for Hip Hop and oh.my.word am I ever excited for that. ha ha. I am not too sure how she feels.

How fun will that be! Is this one of those "parents forcing their dreams onto their child" scenarios? 

My baby will be in Kindergarten in the fall. How did that happen! We went to the open house and met her lovely teacher, the assistant, the principal and toured the school. It was wonderful. Anna is excited and that makes me so happy.

Around Here

It feels like spring outside and I am loving it! It creates an energy in me that I wish I could bottle up. I love sitting on the front step in the sun. I love walking outside and feeling the sun hit my face without the rest of me freezing. I love hearing the birds chatter and sing. I dug out Anna's bike and I love watching her go back and forth along the sidewalk. I love the need/urge/desire to clean, to declutter and to start fresh. I have been going full tilt purging and organizing. My car is packed full of donation items. The great spring clean of 2015 is underway!

This girl loves to dance & loves her twirls.

My tiny but mighty tribe met this month for drinks and food at Mercer Tavern. Great friends, lots of laughs, great food and drink, happy heart. We were down two lady friends, we missed them but made up for it in the sad photos we took and sent them.

Anna & Lizzy. These two. Never a dull moment.

Choosing new, bright, colorful fabric to make pillows. 

Taking time to myself to read & enjoy the sunshine. That sun that comes through the window makes me happy. Almost done Gone Girl and I am really liking it. 

It has been 5 years since I could wear these shoes. They're one of my favourites. I got pregnant, I grew- all of me- and I had to say goodbye to all my shoes. Things no one told me about having a baby- my feet would grow stretch in width and length! I put them on yesterday and cheered. They fit again! Yes!!

The great spring clean of 2015 started in the storage room. I hauled it all out. Went through everything, organized it, put everything I could into bins, labeled it and stacked it all back in. It took a full day but oh.my.gosh. was it rewarding. I can walk in there and find anything. That sounds like magic to me. 

Around Here

(seriously, I could eat her up)

There has been little space to breath around here and February blew by me leaving a trail of ice and puddles. Ok, that is just the weather around here. I may have thrown a temper tantrum the other day that sounded a lot like this- "Be winter. -OR- Be spring. PICK one Weather. Pick one. " I most likely flailed my arms around in the air too. 

In any case, life looks a lot like...

- spring cleaning

- Anna attending her first classmate birthday party

- Valentine's parties

- Cory working out of town

- feeling under the weather

- blood work & biopsies (tests for an autoimmune disease)

- reading whatever I can on autoimmune disease

- realizing I can track symptoms back 10 years

- splurging on new towels and bedding

- being outside when the weather is beautiful

- watching Lost Girl on Shomi

- planning for my first ever scrapbook retreat

- piles of laundry... everywhere...why can it never find it's way back into the drawers

- being late for playschool everyday

- cancelling subscriptions because our dollar is the shits

- brunch every weekend 

- drinking grapefruit beer (Stiegl)

- drooling over new scrapbook product

- soaking in bubble baths

- trying to listen to my gut and learning to say no