Wednesday, 22 April 2015

What's stopping you?

I have this new friend that was born out of a love of donuts. She runs a very successful local business. She has asked me to bring my dream and business into hers. I am totally on board. In fact I am beyond flattered/humbled/grateful. We spoke on the phone Monday evening about business, ideas and expanding. She asked me a question that stopped my breath.

What is stopping you?

I immediately felt flustered and embarrassed. 

Her: What is stopping you? 
Me: Nothing. 
Me: Nothing but me & my own inner critic.
Her: Don't listen. Tell it to go away.
Me: uh.................

We then began a beautiful conversation about our inner critic, our insecurities and how to choose to listen or not to listen. How to accept who we are and where we've been and move forward. By conversation I actually mean she spoke and I listened. I felt at times like she must have a secret door into my brain and thoughts. How does she get this/me? The answer was because she has been there. I was not alone in my thinking and self defeating inner dialogue. She said so many things that hit home for me, that spoke to my heart. I wished I could have reached into the phone and smothered her with the hug I felt building in my chest. 

I hung up the phone, walked into the kitchen, looked at Cory and said "Who is this women who has come into my life and left me speechless." Then I started crying. Not a sad cry, a cry of pure gratitude. 

Why, as women who have the world at our finger tips, do we talk ourselves out of our ideas/gifts/talents?

Why does that monster ego creep up and tell us that we don't deserve something? Be it money, success, happiness, etc? Why do we feel guilty for wanting more? More for ourselves? 

Are we conditioned to take a back seat? To sit on the sidelines and watch others live their dreams? 

I am not sure I know the answers to those questions but I do know that I think it's bullshit. I don't want that for me and certainly not for my daughter. If I squash my dreams because I listen to the voices in my head then I am teaching her and those around me that it is OK. 

It's not easy to be brave. It's not easy to silent the voices. It's not easy to step outside of our comfort zone. It's not easy to put ourselves and our talents out into the world. It's not easy to be vulnerable. 

However, we owe it to ourselves and to the world to be great. 
To be daring and say: I can do this. I am enough. I am doing things that matter. 


Formerly.Lisa.S. said...

Mandy is so very awesome. This is a great post.

Kathleen Ruelling said...

You and I need to have coffee - I'm on the precipice of something similar as well...2015...the year of new things.