Monday, 18 March 2013

Truths about my life & motherhood

Some days there is a guilt that lives inside me that only a mother could understand. Don't get me wrong, I had plenty of ridiculous, unserving guilt before I became a mother it just morphed into a new form- mom guilt. Do you know the guilt? The guilt you feel when another parent says Oh, we don't let our kids watch TV. or She still drinks from a bottle? or you read in a magazine When I'm at work I'm at work, when I'm at home I'm at home. or Your kids need plenty of __________ in their diet.

Augh, just typing that makes me want to either hide and be miserable or punch someone in the nose- neither a desirable outcome. We are suffocated with stereotypes of what we should be doing and how are kids are suppose to be. Bah. So instead today I am going to share with you some of my truths. To shout it from the roof tops YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

- Anna eats crackers and popcorn for breakfast. She will eat pancakes but I'm too lazy to make those everyday. And that's just fine.
- Anna was not breast fed! Because I did not want to! Because it isn't the right thing for everyone! If I have another baby I will not breast feed that one either. Formula fed babies are just as smart & healthy and I will defend my right to make that choice until the day I die!
- Anna at 28 months drinks milk from a bottle and I don't care one little bit. She's happy, I'm happy. 
- I will let Anna sleep with me if she wakes in the night... and Cory goes to the couch. And that's just fine.
- I do laundry almost everyday but you'd never know it by the mound of cloths in front of the washer. And that's just fine.
- After doing that laundry I pile it on the table instead of folding it and it can sit there for weeks, we get dressed from the table. And that's just fine.
- We eat goldfish, cucumbers and chocolate chips for lunch. And that's just fine.
- We don't serve meat, Anna doesn't eat it. She gets plenty of protein from other sources. (If I don't worry, neither should you)
- related to above- vitamin B12- thank you Flintstone!
- I don't think I have ever washed our windows. Wash windows or scrapbook- easy choice there!
- Sometimes Anna watches TV all day because I need to get my work done. And that's just fine.
- I bribe Anna to do things all the time!
- I yell.
- Sometimes I shower extra long just so I can be alone.
- Sometimes I spontaneously burst into tears out of sheer frustration of repeating myself for the billionth time.
- This winter I can count on two hands (and maybe a foot) the number of times we've played outside.
- I washed Anna's bedding but was too lazy to make it at bedtime so she slept on a quilt... for a week. And that's just fine.
- We still rock her to sleep... and I will most likely continue to do so until she decides otherwise. And when that happens I will probably cry down in my room.

There... a list, definitely not a complete list but enough for today. How liberating!
At the end of the day here's what I can tell you: Anna is growing, thriving, is smart as a whip, can hold a conversation like someone twice her age, is happy and so loved that I am sure she feels claustrophobic. 

Perhaps I will let all the mom guilt go (or at least try my best) . Perhaps we are right where we should be. Perhaps I should focus on all the amazing things we do together instead of all the things we don't.  Perhaps I will realize I'm an amazing momma and no one is going to convince me otherwise. (pump fist in air to get full effect)
Perhaps you will realize all that in yourselves.


Sherri said...

beautifully put! ...God knows who the right mama for our children is...He made you Anna's mama so you will know what's right for her if you love her (which you do)...I have felt lots of these things all the time with my daughter, and I am so encouraged to read this...wish I had done something like that long ago:))

Anonymous said...

This post is a breath of fresh air! Thank you!

Jodie Toles

Jen said...

I love it!! I'm not a mama yet, but I can guarantee you my list will be twice as long - so totally no judging here!!!! :)

Formerly.Lisa.S. said...

One time Lucas had a Slurpee for dinner. Another time, pecan pie. And he hasn't had a bath in a VERY LONG TIME!

But the other day he wrote me a letter that stated the following: Mom, I wish you were with me all the time. You are my favourite person in our family. I love you lots. xoxoxoxoxo.

So I think I'm doing okay.

Anonymous said...

This is the best post I have read in a long time. I had a baby at 41 and thought I wouldn't be caught up in all that stereotypical stuff..... Boy was I wrong. My boy is 16 months now and I have heard it all. My guy wasn't breast fed either and if I hear one more person say anything about breast feeding I will lose it. I was even judged by the other new mothers in my baby class. Wtf. It is great to know there are other not so perfect mom's out there.... And who are not afraid to admit it. Thanks Nadine. You are a very talented, smart young lady. Love your blog.