I have had a really hard week. Or maybe it's weeks, this one was just extra hard. Today is the 6th. My Dad has been gone for 3 months. It's not uncommon for me to go stretches like that without seeing him. Or talking to him. Except now I won't. Ever. And that keeps hitting my like a powerful wave. Knocking me down. Leaving me a puddle on the floor begging for this all to be a bad dream. I do believe that someday, at the end of our lives we will all be reunited, but in this life I find no comfort in that (for now). I woke up on that day and poof, he was gone. No word, no warning, no goodbye. No answers. No closure. I then find myself angry, like someone stole from me and in a way I guess I was stolen from.
I am writing this post because it helps me and I then think "maybe it's helping someone else", not helping by cheering them up with my wit and awesomeness ;) but by letting someone know they're not alone. I know I can't be alone. That someone felt this way before me and that they're ok, they're thriving, they're joyful more than they are sad. That is what gives me comfort. Knowing that one day I won't feel so lost.
For now I will do my best everyday to be joyful, to shine, to let the waves knock me down when they come. I will pray for the strength to get back up, to move forward and honor my Dad's wonderful, cheeky, silly, beautiful life.
(image sourced from Pinterest)
1 comment:
Nadine,
I just want to say thank you for your posts on the subject of losing your father.
I lost my mother this past November. I think about her every single day.
Most days are better than others but I still lose it without notice.
It's hard to talk about it because no one really knows how hard it is, unless they have gone through it themselves.
So, I want to know that you are not alone and thank you for reminding me that neither am I.
Thank you.
*hug*
.Jennifer.
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