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“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”
Mary Anne Radmacher

just what the doctor ordered...

A big dose of cuteness!

Anna is 9 weeks old and getting so big! Things are getting easier and I am loving her up more & more each day! I smother her in kisses and she drools on me, so great!

Nurture

My One Little Word for 2011.

(click on picture to enlarge)

Nurture
-to care for and encourage the growth & development of someone or something

 

I will nurture:

- our baby girl 

- myself- physically, mentally & spiritually

- my relationship with Cory

- my relationship with my family

- my relationships with my friends

- my art

- my blog

- my story telling and memory keeping

- my work

- my dreams

I had many ideas and areas about where I wanted to put my energy into, what I wanted to focus on. I wanted to care for Anna and embrace the new side of me- the momma me but I needed to do this without losing Nadine and all the little things that make me me. All while trying to figure out where I'm going and "who I am". I wanted to make my marriage a priority so that Cory & I are not one of the statistics "marital satisfaction drops significantly after the first child is born". I wanted to make more time for my family, especially now that I have Anna to share with them. We were faced with the loss of a parent last month, Cory's mom past away on December 14 and it was heart breaking and eye opening. Cory & his mom had both let their relationship fall apart over the past couple of years and he wasn't around when she past.  He will forever wonder "what if", "what if I'd just called", "what if I'd just popped by"and it hurts my heart. You never know how much time you have left with someone and think it's so important to tell your loved ones that you love them, that they're important, that you take that time to go visit or to call. It made me need to be better at family. I wanted to be a better friend. I wanted to stop being so worried about what other people thought about me. I wanted to be fearless when it came to art, my dreams & my blog. All this and more led me to nurture and I started seeing the word all over. I started dreaming about the word and what it would bring to me if I focused on it over the next year. It was wonderful! I made the painting above and it sits in my living room where I can see it every day to constantly remind myself to nurture.

On my Monday

Outside my window... snow, lots & lots of snow
Today... I sat on the couch with Anna and watched TV or read all day
I am thinking... about my dear friend Kara who started a business and opened it's doors today. To new beginnings my darling!
I am currently... having a little "me" time and working on a painting I'm doing for my "One Little Word"
I am thankful for... a visit from Naomi on Saturday & a car that in no longer stuck in the snow in our back alley, I can deal with it being stuck on the front street 
I am listening to... a very rad mix I made on iTunes. It makes me so happy.
I am reading... The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin and True Vision: Authentic Art Journaling by L.K. Ludwig
I am wearing... a Roots hoodie and my pink lamb pj pants (they are incredibly stylish)
I am hoping... that my lunch makes itself and the dishes get magically washed
I am looking forward to... my first day with the trainer at the gym on Friday and going to Moksha Yoga. My baby belly is hanging around a little longer than I'd like! Or perhaps it's all the chocolate chip cookies I had for lunch today??
I am loving... Anna's smiles and coo's first thing in the morning

2010 in review

Looking back at the highlights from 2010.

January- I headed to California for CHA

February- My grandma gave me her sewing machine from 1950 and taught me how to use it

March- We found out we were expecting!

April- Cory celebrated his birthday. We went out of the city for a hockey tournament and hit up a costume party.

May- I was published for the first time in Canadian Scrapbooker

June- Found out we were having a baby GIRL!

June- Annie came into the city and the three of us girls got to hang out and talk about having babies. Arabelle was born June 23.

July- Cory & I headed to Banff for a much needed camping trip.

July- I watched You Tube videos, taught myself how to sew and started my first quilt.

August- I worked like mad on DIY's. I spent the last two weeks of the month packing and we moved at the end of August.

August- I finished my baby quilt just in time to move.

September- We finished unpacking and getting our new place in order. Annie's Penny was born on September 22.

October- I celebrated my 32nd birthday with a wonderful group of friends and family. We had trick r' treaters for the first time since I moved out of my parents. We waited for baby!

November-  We welcomed Anna Rae into our lives on Friday, November 12 @ 10:32pm. She had a rough start but everything ended up being 100% okay and we sent out a thousand thank you's to the Universe for bringing her to us.

December- We celebrated our first Christmas as a new family

Good Bye 2010

It's that time again, the last day of the year. It comes around every year and every year it seems to fill me with equal amounts of excitement and anxiety. I get wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of the holidays and then WHAM! Christmas is over and the New Year is approaching. I have spent the last week attending a few pity parties as I looked back on the goals & "resolutions" I half assed set for 2010. Not a party anyone wants to go to willingly! I have also been searching for my one little word. I have a list, a long list and now I'm in the process of narrowing it down to the one that fits best into where my head and my heart are at. Finding that one little word that I will use to drive me, inspire me and lead me through 2011. It has been hard and to be honest a little emotional for me, I wish I could blame it on post pregnancy hormones but I think it goes a little deeper than that. Don't get me wrong 2010 was wonderful in so many ways, most importantly the birth of our beautiful daughter Anna (whom is seriously amazing), but there are areas of my life that I feel I let myself down. Does anyone else feel like that? It can't be just me... right? I have big plans for this coming year that need to be turned into concrete goals, written down instead of floating around in my overcrowded head, worked on so that I can go into 2012 not feeling like I have this past week, so that the last week of December isn't packed with anxiety. Instead, full of anticipation and excitement about what the future holds.

As I close out 2010 I want to thank all of you, whom ever you are and where ever you may be for reading my posts and hanging out with me! I wish you all a wonderful New Year! A year full of love and happiness! xoxo

I'm off to start list writing.... with a glass of red wine {wink}.

Much Love,
Nadine

one month

WOW! My sweet baby girl is one month old today! I have been a momma for one month!! Yowzers! It has gone by so fast and yet feels like an eternity! We are learning, lots and lots of learning. It's a struggle everyday to take it easy, to be gentle with myself and patient with her & I. One day I think I have her figured out and the next she lets me know I have not. She is an amazing baby, she really is! The part of all this I am having the hardest time with isn't getting up in the middle of the night or the 2 hours of sleep or even the screaming fits. It's trying to let go of who I used to be, the routines I used to have and embrace the new me, the new routines (or lack of). No one tells you how hard that will be.
I thank my lucky stars everyday for her, for her smiles and yes sometimes even her tears. I'm grateful for story time and songs on the morning, for afternoon naps on my chest while I catch up on pvr'd shows and for bedtime baths.
Cory, wow is he a superstar! He is so great with her and thankfully even more so with me! I really can't say enough positive things about that man! He is my rock!
I've discovered all sorts of things in the last month...
- I can survive on a few hours of sleep day after day (although I am more likely to cry)
- This is way harder than I ever imagined
- I can do almost anything with one hand
- I sway even when I'm not holding her
- A little Shhh shhh shhing is my best friend
- I could stare at her for hours while she's sleeping... if only she slept that long
- Who needs to wear clean cloths anyway?
- I can get a ton of stuff done around the house in 20 minutes... it used to take hours
- Cory is the most amazing daddy and husband, I would be hopelessly lost without him
- I know my own parents love me, but I had no idea how much until I had Anna

I'll leave you with some sneakies from a little photo shoot we went to on Thursday. Nancy, a wonderful woman I know from Treasured Memories had us over and took pictures for me. It was great and I am over the top grateful for her for doing this for us!